The Council of Demons has officially launched “The Evil Trust”. The new organisation will be headquartered in Luxembourg for tax purposes, with branches opening up in Paris, London, New York and LA. Its official motto is: “Don’t Be Evil (Just Kidding)” A spokesman for the Council of Demons said: “We’re incredibly excited to begin this …
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Allegations have emerged that the Olympic Fairy team used illegal fairy dust to boost their performance during the Winter Olympics 2018. The team were praised for their incredible haul of gold medals in basketball, running, swimming and archery, which they explained as being the result of a hard work, hard training, and more hard work. …
In a world first, London will be opening its first lane of traffic dedicated to dragons from Hackney in East London to Ealing in West London, after safety concerns that drivers are getting accidentally roasted on the road. It’s been an open secret for years. Since Dragons have started sharing the traffic lanes with human …
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The organisation “Witches can be Vegan and Still be Witches” has launched its new campaign as part of its general push into the eradication of animal products in the production of spells. Their spokesperson Victoria Malfoy said: “It’s time for witches and wizards to recognise that using toads in a standard spell isn’t necessary. Broccoli …
Sources close to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge say the Royal Couple are in a real tizz: should their darling George get packed off to his father’s alma mater Eton? Or should he head up to Hogwarts and learn valuable magic skills that will help woo over the country when he eventually becomes King? …
Jeremy Corbyn has denied allegations from members of his own party that he is in fact a wizard. A Labour MP who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of magical reprisals confided: “I mean it’s the only explanation. I don’t understand how he’s been able to build such a huge following without wizarding powers. Look …
The Invisible Man is in hospital after suffering from a serious traffic accident. In a witness statement, the driver said: “I am so so sorry. I just didn’t see him! I hope he’s okay!” A hospital spokesman released this statement to the press earlier today: “At 8:06am this morning, The Invisible Man was struck on …
Sources have confirmed what everyone has long suspected: Peter Pan has been having secret Botox injections for years! The youthful looking cheeky devil has been hiding the secrets to his eternal youth, and persistently claiming it’s due to his magical powers. It all came crashing down this week then his ‘magical powers’ were none other …
Jon Snow has sparked outrage with his fellow guardsmen of Night Watch by calling the land north of the wall a ‘massive shithole’. A ‘friend’ of the King of the North said: “Jon was really smashed. He’d had far too much wine. Someone asked him what it was like north of the wall. And Jon …
Rudolf the Reindeer has been spotted in Machu Picchu during his extended new year holiday vacation. Our eagle eyed photographer snapped him in the company of FIVE company lamas! Naughty naughty. We attempted to get in touch with him for a comment, but a spokesman for Lapland said he was currently on his way to …