Men, women and children had a nasty shock today when mermaids all over the world started throwing plastic rubbish at them from the sea. Little Johnny, 8 years old, was an eyewitness to this unforeseen phenomenon from a beach in Cornwall this morning:
“I was just on a beach collecting some shells and listening to Taylor Swift when all of a sudden a huge mermaid with massive sea shells came straight out of the water, and threw a bunch of empty water bottles and plastic pens, destroying my sand castle!”
Governments around the world are advising extreme caution if travelling to a beach. There could be a mermaid lurking behind a rock with an empty bottle of Fiji water…
At the time of going to press, Little Johnny was still upset about his ruined sand castle…