In a world first, London will be opening its first lane of traffic dedicated to dragons from Hackney in East London to Ealing in West London, after safety concerns that drivers are getting accidentally roasted on the road. It’s been an open secret for years. Since Dragons have started sharing the traffic lanes with human …
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The organisation “Witches can be Vegan and Still be Witches” has launched its new campaign as part of its general push into the eradication of animal products in the production of spells. Their spokesperson Victoria Malfoy said: “It’s time for witches and wizards to recognise that using toads in a standard spell isn’t necessary. Broccoli …
Jeremy Corbyn has denied allegations from members of his own party that he is in fact a wizard. A Labour MP who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of magical reprisals confided: “I mean it’s the only explanation. I don’t understand how he’s been able to build such a huge following without wizarding powers. Look …
The Invisible Man is in hospital after suffering from a serious traffic accident. In a witness statement, the driver said: “I am so so sorry. I just didn’t see him! I hope he’s okay!” A hospital spokesman released this statement to the press earlier today: “At 8:06am this morning, The Invisible Man was struck on …
Sources have confirmed what everyone has long suspected: Peter Pan has been having secret Botox injections for years! The youthful looking cheeky devil has been hiding the secrets to his eternal youth, and persistently claiming it’s due to his magical powers. It all came crashing down this week then his ‘magical powers’ were none other …
Jon Snow has sparked outrage with his fellow guardsmen of Night Watch by calling the land north of the wall a ‘massive shithole’. A ‘friend’ of the King of the North said: “Jon was really smashed. He’d had far too much wine. Someone asked him what it was like north of the wall. And Jon …
Werewolves are preparing to open the world’s first ‘werewolf-friendly’ salon in Hackney in London. Claiming they are sick and tired of getting dirty looks when entering normal salons, Hairy Jim, leader of the Werewolves Have Rights Too party, declared that this is a great in the right direction for the rights of werewolves around the …
Cyclops has launched a protest campaign on governments and film distributors around the world to begin the manufacture of one-eyed 3D glasses. He claims it is wrong, biased and simply unfair that he has to use normal 3D glasses when creatures like him only have one eye. AMC Cinemas were unavailable for comment, but sources …
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