10 tips on how to date a zombie

A Therapist’s Top 10 Tips on How To Date A Zombie

Always have a steak handy at home.

You want to make sure the zombie isn’t hungry or you become meal and not a date!
Don’t go to a vegetarian restaurant.
There’s r more insulting than going somewhere with no meat on offer. It’s bad enough that as a zombie they can only order animal flesh. There’s no point adding insult to injury…. Especially if you want to see them again!
Don’t ask how old they turned.
A zombie is very particular about when they turned. They may be ‘dead’, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about their birthday. It’s a real conundrum for them: should they celebrate their ‘human’ age or their ‘zombie’ age? It’s a huge point of contention and best avoided completely. Unless you want to begin a blazing row.
Make sure you stock up on bleach.
If you make it to the next step and you invite them to your house, this is a hazard of dating a zombie. If they use toilet, be prepared to go in afterwards in full hazmat suit and lots of bleach to clean up the mess.
Beware of a zombie’s ex.

Ex-partners in a zombie relationship have been known to be particularly vicious. When you get serious with a zombie, make sure they’re on friendly terms with all their exes. Otherwise you might end up as their dinner!
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Enjoy…!

Dating a zombie is a unique experience, and we would love to hear all about it! You can email us, instagram us, or (if you still use it) tweet us.

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